Food For Thought

You may have noticed that I have no written in over 2 weeks. And trust me it isn't because I've got nothing to say. I, as Kendra have hit a slump. It isn't too shocking, I feel I've been hitting these slumps for 5 years now ever since I set my mind on losing weight. I felt that because I had nothing positive to talk about that I shouldn't say anything at all. I realize however that isn't how having a weight loss blog works and I know that everyone has these kinds of days.

I haven't been in the gym for weeks. According to my online statement I haven't hit the gym since June 11, a week before my birthday. I have lost the motivation to lose weight and stay healthy and I am frantically searching for it! I have been eating junk food on and off for the past few weeks and I can feel how awful it is for my body from not being able to waking up in the morning to not being able to stay awake during the day. Even though I am starting to feel awful about myself again, I can't seem to last more than a day on my "diet".

As many of us know, it's hard to break a habit. Habits are comfortable and a great excuse. I worked for 8 hours today and after I got off at 1130, I found myself at the taco bell drive through because I thought I was starving. After I took 3 bites of the 8$ of food I got, I realized that I wasn't hungry at all and the food tasted awful! I go to these drive thrus at night out of habit. After getting off work or hanging out with friends late at night I don't know what to do with myself so I eat. It's more comfortable than going home and being by myself late at night so I stuff myself with thousands of calories which can't be good for my waistline. For now I am searching for that motivation again and a reason to keep going with this blog and my mission to lose weight. What are some of your reasons for wanting to lose weight? Wish me luck in finding my motivation, it's time to do some soul searching...until we meet again!

It's Been a Long Time Coming...

You may notice that this post is a little behind on my "twice a week" blogging goal. That was not intentional, but there was a reason I dragged my feet. I didn't know how to write about what was going on, since I seem to have hit a plateau in most of the arenas of my life.


Sometimes you're in a waiting room. And there's nothing wrong with that, but that doesn't mean pull up a chair and get out a magazine, get comfortable. It means scan the room for exits and build connections with other "inmates" to break out with. I am gearing up to apply to law school in the fall, so my love life and career have both been put on hold. And I was fine with that until very recently. Now it feels less like a self-imposed ban to keep me focused, and more like a restriction, holding me back.


Which leads me to my first realization: timing is literally everything. Just consider this for a moment, you can eat anything you want and lose weight. How? Timing. The longer you can put off something, the better it will be. This harkens back to the cheat day thing, which is based on this concept. By changing the way we look at gratification, and adjusting it to delayed rather than denied is crucial. Whether it is in relationships, or just your relationship with food. Next time you see a piece of chocolate cake staring you down, practice saying "later" rather than "no."

Which leads me to my second, and more important, realization. Up until now my mantra for many things has been: "If it's meant to be, it will be." While this is a factual statement, what struck me about it recently is that it's a bit defeatist. It's easy to say, "If I'm meant to be in shape, I will be," when in reality you are meant to be in shape so get off the couch and stop making excuses. Destiny will only take us so far, and it is what we do with the chances we are given (i.e. checking Facebook rather than going for a run) that ultimately decides what happens and what doesn't.

So how do these both reconcile? There has to be a balance. You have to know when to put something off, like if it's bad for you, and when to embrace it with open arms, like when it's good for you. If you don't know which is which, listen to your conscience. It's surprising that we each have a feeling (mine resides in my stomach) that lets us know which course of action to take. If it makes you feel guilty, put it off until it doesn't. Otherwise, what are you waiting for?

Starting Fresh

I am back from Vegas and today marks month 9 of my break up. I've decided now that I am more or less over the ex, it's time to give myself what I like to call a "break up makeover". As we all know, hot people get more attention and all the best perks! I am kind of curious to see how people will treat me differently and how I will act as I lose the weight and actually want to dress up and go out. Counting down from today, I have exactly 4 months to get in shape before my next Vegas trip. I have decided on a diet (Body for Life!!) and I will be posting my progress on that starting tomorrow (wish me luck!) and also pictures of new clothes and the makeover!

Vegas this weekend was fun, very difficult to count calories with so many delicious foods around. I think it's important to give ourselves a break on vacation though. I let myself eat whatever I wanted for that weekend with the self promise that I would get back on the healthy bandwagon when I am back and I guess that time is now.

I will post starting pics and measurements tomorrow and fast forward 4 months hopefully I will be back in my little black dress! I also managed to get back into tennis, very slowly as not to hurt my knee (for the 4th time) but I am excited about this progression. I realized that my mind still thinks I'm in great shape but I think I need a beginners work out plan for the first time as I am clearly not in the shape I was in 3 years ago. Time for bed so I can get up early and make a nice healthy breakfast body for life style! Good night everyone!

Come on Ladies...

It occurred to me last Sunday as I sat in a theater full of nervously excited women watching "Magic Mike" that we, as a gender, are extremely hypocritical. Consider this: you break up with a guy and as you're leaving to start a new amazing life somewhere else, he shows up at the the airport. And you don't remember giving him any flight info. Creepy, right? Unless he's hot. Because, let's be real ladies, we have a bit of a double standard in operation, currently. We think we want what happens in romantic comedies, but when regular guys pull the very same stunts (coming to our house to serenade us, tracking down our phone number, trying to stop us from leaving) we label them stalkers. Unless he's hot, right? Then he's your soulmate, and he just can't bear not to text you every five minutes. Guys, if you don't think this is true, congratulations, you're probably one of the hot ones (call me!). And ladies if you're still shaking your head, just ask yourself: if you were whistled at by construction workers would your reaction be different if they were Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer (google "Channing Tatum"+"shirtless" and answer honestly.)?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. As I lose weight (I'm down to a size 10 now!) people are treating me differently. It's pretty weird, because obviously I am the same person I was a few months ago, but suddenly I'm getting more eye contact, random people touching me during the course of a conversation, and compliments on my clothes. This last one freaked me out a bit, since I thought at first the woman who said it was mocking me. Lest ye forget, I'm a single student mother on a shoestring budget, so it's a lot of Ross and Target for me. I'd like to think it was the clothes, but like our double standard for men, skinny bitches can wear just about anything and look totally amazing (google "Megan Fox"+"burlap sack"). Whereas, I know from my experience, the larger you are the fewer things you look truly stunning in.

Which brings me to my final, and most disconcerting realization of the week. As I get smaller I become more judgmental of my big and beautiful sisters. Part of me thinks, "If I can do this, so can you!" But, of course, that assumption is a fallacy. I'm by no means where I need or want to be health-wise, and how could I begin to guess about or judge another person's health? I think we--ladies, people in general, and me--need to stop basing our conclusions on what we think we see. We can be blinded by our assumptions, and the solution is to not assume anything. So next time you meet someone try to imagine if your reaction to them would be different if they looked like Channing Tatum (or Blake Lively, for you gents). You might be surprised. Or then again, given how crowded the theater was on Sunday, you might not.